At first I worked with him purely out of need; he had the evidence, and I would have shaken hands with the devil to get it.
But over time I came to a more complicated view of Gabriel, one I hold to this day.
He was not a good man who did a bad thing, and he was not a bad man who did a good thing.
He was a weak man, in the specific way our whole world produces and rewards — a person who saw wrong being done, and understood it was wrong, and calculated that the cost of speaking was higher than the cost of the harm, and so kept his head down, until the harm grew large enough that his silence became unbearable even to him.
There are a great many Gabriels.
They are, in some ways, more dangerous than the Christians, because there are so many more of them, and because the Christians of the world can only do what they do when surrounded by Gabriels who see it and stay quiet.
I did not forgive him, because his silence had a price and I had paid it.
But I also came to understand that his late, imperfect courage was worth more than the pure inaction of everyone who never spoke at all — that a coward who finally acts is still, in the moment of acting, doing the thing the brave do, and that a justice system which refuses the help of the formerly silent will get very little help indeed.
So I let him be useful.
There are a great many Gabriels.
They are, in some ways, more dangerous than the Christians, because there are so many more of them, and because the Christians of the world can only do what they do when surrounded by Gabriels who see it and stay quiet.
I did not forgive him, because his silence had a price and I had paid it.
But I also came to understand that his late, imperfect courage was worth more than the pure inaction of everyone who never spoke at all — that a coward who finally acts is still, in the moment of acting, doing the thing the brave do, and that a justice system which refuses the help of the formerly silent will get very little help indeed.
So I let him be useful.
Video of a small boy calling him daddy.
